A Rudycard take on the Super Bowl.
Notes on a Rudy Card

Posted Jan 27, 2003


Rudy Hiers takes a minute by minute look at the Superbowl.
Go get a bucket and take a seat.
Your going to laugh till yer sick
unless your a Raiders Fan


A Rudycard take on the Super Bowl.
By Rams Nation's Rudy Hiers

National Anthem
A Canadian singing God Bless American
Who’s next? Charo?

3:15 pm
My first glimpse at John Lynch on the sidelines.
He looks frustrated… Must be because he hasn’t had a chance to spear anyone yet.

3:22 pm
Coin Toss
Referee Bill Corollo doesn’t seem to know which team is home or visitor for today’s game
Real nice. The game hasn’t even started yet, and the officials have already made their first mistake.

3.24 pm
Kickoff
Tampa Bay receives the kick. During the return, Warren Sapp leaves the field and takes a flight to Green Bay, where upon arrival, he promptly blindsides Chad Clifton.

3:27 pm
The offense that can’t afford to make a turnover does just that on the third play from scrimmage, with Brad Johnson throwing an ill-advised pass under pressure, which is promptly intercepted by Oakland.

3:32 pm
The GHB Kid A.K.A Sebastian Janikowski puts the Raiders on the board first with a 40 yard FG
Raiders 3 Tampa 0

3:35 pm
Referee Bill Corollo and his crew shows that the confusion on the coin toss wasn’t a fluke by blowing an obvious down by contact call, thus forcing the Bucs to burn one of their 2 game challenges early in the first quarter in order to have the ruling overturned

These are the ‘best” officials in the league?

3:43 pm
Tampa’s mascot Martin “Ham”matica ties the game up by booting a 31 yard FG.
Oakland 3 Tampa Bay 3

3:56 pm
ABC promotes the halftime show starring Shania Twain. Next Commercial is a Pepsi spot starring the Osbourne’s and the Osmond’s.
Gee, Celine Dion, Shania, and Ozzy and his kids. Put me to bed mommy cause my day is now complete.
Here’s a thought… Quit calling it Super Bowl Sunday, and rename it “visits from extremely annoying celebrities’ day”
All I know is the crap they’re throwing at us these days is making me yearn for the “up with people” era

4:09 pm
Rich Gannon does his best Todd Marinovich impression and throws a pick giving Tampa Bay the ball at the 50 yard line at the end of the 1st Quarter
Oakland 3 Tampa Bay 3

4:18 pm
Gramatica kicks his 2nd FG of the day... a 43 yarder that gives Tampa Bay a 6-3 lead
Let’s see, 20 minutes into the game and we have 4 punts and 3 FG’s.
Early favorite for the Super Bowl 37 DVD title
“Have Foot.. Will Travel!”

4:25 pm
Gannon moves on to his Neil O’Donnell impression, throwing his 2nd INT of the day.
Tampa responds to this largesse by promptly going three and out on the offensive side of the ball.
So far, the game is about as attractive as a nude photo of Anna Nicole Smith

4:28 pm
Punts 5 and 6 of the game in a span of a minute.
So far, there are more kicks in this game than at Radio City Music hall.

4:35 pm
Alstott rumbles in from the 2 yard line. Tampa Bay goes up by 10 at 13-3
Al Davis is so angry at the team’s performance in the first half, that he threatens to move the team to Fargo, North Dakota at halftime.

4:56 pm
Brad Johnson fires a 5 yard TD pass to Keenan McCardell
Tampa Bay goes up by 17 at the half leading 20-3
Al Davis begins to think that Fargo is too good for the Raiders, begins exploratory search for a stadium location in Antarctica.
The only thing uglier than the Raiders play at this moment is Al Davis’ wardrobe and the arrest records of most Raider fans

5:10 pm
Raider offensive totals for the first half
2 first downs
18 yards rushing
44 yards passing.
Yep, offensive sure is the word for it.

5:15 pm
Shania Twain comes out on stage dressed in a sequined/diamond silver and black motif Yowza!
Hmmmmm…. Wonder if it’s too late to switch to Pewter and Red leather
This just in, Gannon has thrown two more INT’s during the ATT Wireless halftime show.

5:20 pm
This just in, Gwen Stefani of No Doubt has covered more ground on stage in one song than the Raiders did in the first half.

5:32 pm
First possession of the 2nd half goes to Oakland, and they go three and out
“Crash cart to Al Davis’ suite please”

5:50 pm
Tampa continues to discombobulate Raider Nation, with Brad Johnson throwing his 2nd TD pass to Keenan McCardell while finishing up a 9 minute 16 play drive that runs a stake through Al Davis’ heart ( If he had a heart that is )
Tampa Bay 27 Raiders 3

5:55 pm
Rich Gannon continue to make his case for the worst day by a QB in the history of Super Bowl, by tossing his third INT, this one returned by Dwight Smith for 45 yard TD.
The Raiders have now thrown more INT’s (3) than they have first downs (2)
Tampa Bay 34 Raiders 3
Is it too late to bring out Celine Dion for an encore?

6:09 pm
Raiders finally mount some semblance of offense
Raiders challenge a catch by Jerry Porter in the end zone that’s ruled out of bounds, and the call is reversed and called a touchdown.
They then promptly fail on the 2 point conversion
Tampa Bay 34 Raiders 9

6:22 pm
Start of the 4th quarter
Raiders special teams supply a spark, blocking Tampa’s punt and returning it for a TD.
They again fail on the 2 point conversion and the lead is closed to 34-15.
Al Davis’ who was in the process of changing the Raider motto to “we just suck baby” stops and waits.

6:34 pm
Tampa muffs a field goal try…. Gramatica wisely falls down with the ball before he gets bent into 67 different positions by REAL football players.

6:46 pm
Oakland, deep in desperation mode connects on a Gannon to Rice 49 yard TD pass.
They fail on their third consecutive 2 point conversion try on a play that Raider coach Callahan foolishly wastes a challenge on. Porter is forced out of bounds while in the air, but that portion of the play ISN’T reviewable, only whether he was in bounds or not is.
A decided waste of an important time out.
Tampa Bay 34 Oakland 21
6 minutes left.

7:01 pm
2 minute warning. Oakland ball at their own 38

7:05 pm
Gannon tosses his 4th INT of the game, the 2nd to be returned for a TD in the game by Tampa. Derrick Brooks puts the lights out on Raider nation with a 45 yard return.

7:11 pm
Gannon cements his legacy amongst the worst QB’ing efforts in Super Bowl history, by throwing his 5th INT . This one is the THIRD returned for a TD in the game. This one a 50 yarder by Dwight Smith… His 2nd of the game.

7:15 pm
Thankfully and mercifully for Raiduh nation, it’s over.
Tampa Bay whoops up on the Davis clan to the tune of 48-21
Now begins the long off season for NFL fans (made especially longer now that we have to listen to John Lynch and Warren Sapp run their mouths)
The Rudycard staff is happy though, for all the long time Buc fans, who suffered through some of the worst football the NFL has seen over the last 27 years. They deserve this moment.

7:24 pm
Now we have to listen to freekin’ Bon Jovi before they hand the Lombardi out?
God the NFL is getting irritating these days. I don’t know whether it’s the Super Bowl anymore, or Star Search.
At least we won’t have to worry about Georgia making any asinine remarks on the podium today, such as she did in ‘99’

Coming up next week…
A look at the April Draft.



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OLB Derrick Brooks (profile)
OT Chad Clifton (profile)
QB Rich Gannon (profile)
K Sebastian Janikowski (profile)
QB Brad Johnson (profile)
SS John Lynch (profile)
WR Keenan McCardell (profile)
WR Jerry Porter (profile)
DT Warren Sapp (profile)
CB Dwight Smith (profile)
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