The Roving Ram #4
By Rams Nation's Brandon “Blankman” Cavanaugh
A ying to his or her yang, if you will. Mine just happens to be a friendly
little entity known as Trigonometry. However, with Trig vanquished, Saint Louis
deciding to actually field a team (which is a lovely change of pace, let me
tell you), and the sun setting on a lovely late October day, I am more than
prepared to hit you point blank with the fourth edition of The Roving Ram.
- Marshall, Marshall, Marshall
In Saint Louis’ 37-20 win over the Dilfer & Co. Poultry Hour, the
game plan seemed to be oh so simple in its intricacies. Three words: Give. Marshall.
Ball. Faulk ended the day with 183 yards on 32 carries for a sizeable 5.7 yards
per rush and 3 trips to pay dirt for the day. Marshall would only be bested
on the football field by Terrence Wilkins who rushed, yes, take a moment to
let that sink in, rushed for 32 yards on 3 carries for a 10.7 YPC average. The
receiving corps did what they had to do to move the football. Torry Holt chimed
in with 3 catches for 71 yards, Sir Issac nabbed 3 balls for 63, Ernie Conwell
and Ricky Proehl caught 3 and 2 passes for 38 and 37 yards, respectively. Our
own wunderkind Marshall had a nice day snagging some ‘skin, too, might
I add 7 hauls for 52 yards and a TD scamper, so let’s just notch up his
daily TD Total to 4, shalst we?
Marc Bulger had a solid day leading the troops going 22 for 40 and taking 265
yards from the Seahawk defense along with a TD and a pick to round out the day.
I shant go on without giving mad props to a Mr. Jeffery Wilkins who nailed kicks
from 31, 45 and 47 yards not to mention put all of his PATs right on the money.
Hey, in this day and age, a point can hurt you or help you, so consider this
a PAT on the back for Jeff’s accuracy. On to the defense! Saint Louis
took down the QB 3 times, snagged a deuce on the INT trail and recovered a fumble
for good measure. Oh, and they held Seattle’s QB brigade to a combined
10-27 for 255 yards while giving up a single TD, but intercepting them twice
and causing a fumble. The yardage could’ve been better, sure, but it’s
enough to get me clapping my hands and saying “Herc-a-leez! Herc-a-leez!
Herc-a-leez!”
Now that we’ve covered Saint Louis’ second straight win, let us
peruse the rest of the league in a vague attempt to understand our world better.
- Dolphins looking to “Cris”ten Receiving Corp
Apparently, Miami enjoys these little projects. Take one believed superstar
from team with which he just does not click and infuse him into the backbone
of playing time. First it was Ricky “You Mean I Can Take OFF The Helmet?”
Williams and now it’s Cris “Don’t Call Me Jimmy” Carter.
An unnamed source within the NFL (For fun’s sake, we’ll call him
Skippy LaRoue), states “that Carter agreed in principle to an incentives-based
contract that has yet to be completed.” According to the source, if things
get worked out between Carter and the Dolphins, he could join the team as soon
as Monday. Should everything go to plan, expect to see Carter complaining about
balls thrown his way in those goofy orange and teal colors come their showdown
with Green Bay.
- Owens Blames Press on Race, Religion, The Lunar Eclipse and Cheeze
Whiz
A couple of days after San Franny Wideout Terrell Owens stated that he only
got the press he did for “Sharpiegate” is because he was black,
Owens backpedaled faster than Charles Woodson eyeing a pass from Ryan Leaf.
``This is not a racial issue. It's about perception,'' Owens said in a team-issued
statement. ``I am a target because of who I am and what I have done in the past.
It seems like everything I do is taken to another level.'' Well, ya know, Terrell,
this is crazy and it just might be me here, but typically when you do something
premeditated like that and no one else in the league is…what’s the
word I’m looking for here? Ah yes, stupid enough to do so, you’re
going to get some press and not the kind that makes Deborah Kerr feel giddy
after the premiere of “The King and I”. More like the kind that
Pamela Anderson got after “Barb Wire”.
As I leave you today, faithful reader, I would like to mention that today’s
win, and really every one from here on out, is to be savored, like a fine wine.
That is to say, unless they haven’t been already. When your team is expected
to blow out people more times than not and (GASP) lose rarely, if ever, you
get a little complacent. I admit it happened to me. Probably that youth thing
people are always telling me about. Personally, I think it’s overrated
and comes sealed in a vacuum-locked canister that reads “Beer Nuts”.
Questions, Comments and Other Picture Postcards can be sent to Blankman71@cox.net
===Brandon a.k.a. Blankman #71===